June 6, 2006

Nothing much to report

Filed under: Africa Adoption,Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 9:21 pm

I’ve been kind of lazy about getting the dossier done.  I have everything done that needs to be done by someone else and it’s pretty much down to the letter I have to write to Rwanda about why we want to adopt.  I don’t know why, but every reason I want to adopt just looks silly/crazy when I put it on paper.  DH thinks that must be a sign LOL.  I just can’t seem to get the perfect letter to flow.  When I tell people about the adoption, most look at me as if I’m out of my mind.  I know I’m not, and that this little girl/girls are meant to be in our family…but it’s so hard to convey that to other people and on paper.

I can’t even think of names.  I secretly hope that they will have beautiful names allready and I won’t have to address the issue.  I have two middle names that I like.  Liberty after my great uncle, and Afton after my great aunt.  I’m partial to Asha, Angeline, and maybe Zion for first names…but I really don’t think I’ll even be able to think of a name until I meet them/learn their names.

Rani’s clogging recital is tomorrow, and her ballet recital is Thursday night.  They are both at Cyprus High school at 7pm if you are interested in coming to see her.  I’m sure she’d be thrilled.  I’ll post pics soon!

August 5, 2005

Rani the cleaning maching

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 8:08 pm

I just have to blog about Rani and her ability to clean. This girl is an amazing whirlwind when it is job time. She can finish a job that it takes my older boys to do in half the time or less. It’s tough though because she is so young and technically the only job she’s responsible for is her room. Every day at Family Planning Meeting though she begs for more jobs. She runs off to complete them lickity split and BAM she’s back begging for more. Some days I give her more, and other days I tell her she’s done enough. She hates it when she’s done and usually begs Sullivan(the almost 7yo) to help him with his jobs, which he secretly relishes.

So what should I do? Should I keep finding more jobs for her to help with or let her practically do all her brother’s jobs every day? I never thought I could complain about a child wanting to help TOO much but I honestly can with her.

I’m so proud of her proactivity and agility. She is constantly moving and is really good at everything she tries. In fact, her brother Sully recently started to do gymnastics and has been teaching her. My 4yo girl(who is the size of a 2.5yo) can do cartwheels! 😀 I just wish that she didn’t make me feel bad for not working her so hard. She’s NOT Cinderella for heaven’s sake, no matter what she would like to think. *wink*

Not to mention I’m a little nervous about how helpful she plans to be with the baby. I wonder if she’ll try to nurse baby Finneas when I’m not looking! LOL She wants to do everything she sees and really thinks she can. I can’t wait to see what kind of a young woman she becomes. I’m excited at the prospect!

October 26, 2004

Halloween costume

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 11:10 pm

Today was our homeschool Halloween party and Rani dressed as an Indian Princess. This is a Five Piece Sahara dress from Eshakti.com and she looks absolutely gorgeous in it!

Sahara dress from Eshakti

Indian Princess

October 20, 2004

MRI and other things

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 10:10 am

OK, it’s been a long time since I posted so I’ll try to be brief.

First of all, I wanted to post about a sweet moment I had with my daughter last week. It was after ballet class and Rani was throwing one of her usual tantrums. I picked her up to comfort her and was rubbing her back and legs. I said “Wow you sure are ‘mommy-needy’ today honey.” She responded by smiling and cuddling her face into me more. Then she looked up at me and said “My Shanti give me my Mommy.” I just started tearing up. That had to be the sweetest thing. And what a relief that she realizes that Shanti wanted her to be with us. That means she doesn’t feel “kidnapped” and she knows she is safe. :hug

As for the MRI, what an ordeal! First of all, I have never ever had a child sedated for anything before. I had no idea it would be such a “big deal.” I didn’t know it would be an IV sedation and I didn’t know she wouldn’t be able to walk for 24 hours! These things would have been very nice to know in advance. Rani likes to be prepared and so do I! I had to cancel a date with my hubby that night that I was really looking forward to and I literally couldn’t leave her alone for a second. She couldn’t even crawl across the floor without falling over. It was an emotional day for both of us, but she grew even more attached to me. I’ve noticed that since MRI day she rubs my skin a lot more rather than her own. I’m grateful for that. She even likes to put her face against my neck. It’s really cute.

As for the results of the test. They were normal as we expected. You know we are going to do all these test and come right back to the same result “congenital”(which means hereditary) nystagmus. I hate doing all this to her for nothing. But at least we’ll know “for sure” right? Anyway, I don’t know when the next test will be, but at least we’ll be more prepared for the sedation this time! :rolleyes

October 6, 2004

A letter from her house mother

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 11:10 am

We recieved a letter from Rani’s house mother today along with other things she sent for Rani. The letter was so sweet. I can’t wait to write a response. The poor thing didn’t even get to say goodbye! It was a bad situation all around. Both Rani and I had a good cry after we read the letter. It touched my heart and seeing the items from India reminded her of her grief.

No word on the hep B results yet. We are waiting not too patiently.

September 23, 2004

Rani’s Eyes

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 11:09 pm

I was finally able to get in to see a specialist about Rani’s eyes on Monday. He completely overlooked all the testing that had been done in India, because it was completed in India. As if the testing couldn’t possibly be accurate.

So of course the diagnosis of Congenital Nystagmus can’t hold water without a bunch of tests. Mostly because there is no family history. I completely agree with him, but there is just something about the I’m-the-Dr-and-what-I-say-to-do-is-law approach that I just hate. *sigh* I guess I’ve just been too spoiled with midwives.

So…the plan is first an MRI to check for brain irregularities and tumors…and then some other test, that he said the name of so fast I missed it, where they put a contact attached to wires on her eye to monitor it. She will have to be anesthetised for both tests. The MRI is scheduled for October 16th at 8 AM.

I’m sure they will find that all is normal and she will once be diagnosed as having “congenital” nystagmus. But it will be on American soil and will therefore hold some water. I just hope it’s not too traumatic for my baby. The bloodraw to retest for HIV was bad enough! :soapbox

The Destructo Duo strikes again…

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 11:09 pm

Wow! I thought that these two had tried all they could try around here but boy was I wrong!

In the past four days they have dumped and entire quart of sugar on the floor, smeared peanut butter all over the house, poured glasses and glasses of ice water on the floor, emptied every drawer in my house again, sprayed all of my best perfume on themselves, poured out my favorite shampoo, chewed up and thank goodness DIDN’T swallow 6 glycerin suppositories, dumped another entire bottle of softsoap down the sink, flushed 3 full rolls of toilet paper, ripped apart two of my flushable toilet bowl cleaning pads, poured yogurt on the couch, and flooded the kitchen by plugging up the sink and “washing” the dishes! And all of this because I was trying to “get something done around here”

That of course doesn’t include all the hitting, pinching, biting, and scratching they’ve inflicted upon each other either.

You know I’ve never been an advocate of playpens or other such “locking” devices but I’m starting to seriously wonder if that’s what I’ll have to resort to to get anything done. They will grow out of this, but will we all survive until then??? :worried

The honeymoon is over…

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 10:09 pm

Wow, this weekend all heck broke loose at my house!

I’m not sure how coherent this post will be as I’m suffering from stress :wink but I’ll do my best.

My husband went out of town last weekend for a few days with my oldest son. Saturday was the festival of India and it was wonderful as you saw in the last post.

Sunday this child became a different kid! We had to go to church without Dad, something we have not done since she’s been home, I am the nursery worker in our church here and one little girl needed me to hold her(I do every week), and Rani tried to push her off my lap and I didn’t let her. This last “straw” literally pushed her off the edge. She started shrieking! And of course the “advice” from the other moms started coming. I just wanted to say “What do you know about it?”

I finally got the child’s mom to take her daughter so that I could comfort mine. Rani was extremely upset. After a while she started calming down and watching the kids again. She was intent on watching one little boy who was pushing a toy down the baby slide over and over again. All of a sudden Rani jumped up and ran over to take the toy before he could get around the slide to get it. I, of course, made her return the toy which caused a tantrum like none I’d ever seen. It was so disturbing that I had to leave the nursery with her!

Another adoptive mom in my church who is very shy saw me and came over to talk. She told me that it’s normal at this stage for them to start to test you to see if you’ll really keep them. She says what I’m doing is great (I was rubbing her back and rocking her) and that if I keep it up, it will get better. It was nice to hear that. It’s easier if you know it’s a normal part of the process. Kind of like breastfeeding and growthspurts. If you know it’s coming you can deal with it better.

Anyhow, that night DH came back home, and it was still tantrum after tantrum. DH was really getting upset and even told her to “STOP!” At this point I picked her up and took her into her bedroom. I held her very tight and started saying loudly to her the things I thought she wanted to say to me. “Say to Mommy, ‘ I don’t like it when you don’t let me sit where I want to….I don’t like it when you hold Oliver…..I don’t like it when you hold H. at nursery…I’m afraid you will like her more than me and take her home instead!!!”

About halfway into this harangue she stopped screaming and started sobbing. Her little body was wracked with sobs. I rocked her and told her that “I don’t want H. I want you! You’re my girl and you will be forever! I flew clear across the world for you and I’d do it again over and over! You are mine and I will never leave you!!!”

It really helped and she has been able to tantrum less. It’s difficult because I was finally helping Oliver to gain control of himself and then Rani starts. She has started up the “NO!” to every single request. And I will have to write another post about the utter destruction of my house that these two are conducting. I’m one exhausted and emotionally drained mommy right now.

September 17, 2004

My ballerina

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 11:09 pm

Ever since Xander was three years old and he stepped into that first ballet class filled with little girls I’ve wondered if I’d ever have my own ballerina.

Well, the answer is yes folks! Just look at my tiny girl all in her baggy size XS dance clothes. LOL her ankles are so tiny! She did so well in class. She went right in and started dancing right away. I’m so glad I decided to put her in after all. Originally I was going to do a wait and see approach. She looked beautiful and stole the teacher’s heart!

Rani ballet

And here she is with her best friend Alena making faces and looking so cute! Alena is only 2.5 but LOVED the class as well. They looked likes two little pixies dancing around the teacher. Rani also enjoyed looking at herself in the mirror. She’s definately not vain at all! :wink

Rani/Alena ballet

September 16, 2004

Potty Update

Filed under: Becoming her mom — Tamra @ 11:09 am

I just thought I ought to let you know that the potty issues have been resolved! Rani has had only one pee accidents in the last two weeks or so and no poopy ones! She is back in panties(yay the dipes are expensive!) and is toileting independently. If only she wouldn’t flush an entire roll of TP when she goes! LOL I usually have to hide the TP and leave out a small piece I know she will use.

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