March 21, 2007

I’m officially a jerk

Filed under: Africa Adoption — Tamra @ 9:45 am

Well, this friend emailed me a few days ago telling me to hop on a plane next week because there would be kids to adopt.  I asked her questions like “Why the rush?”,  “What kind of fees would be involved?”,  “What are the children like?” etc.  She told me I ask too many questions just like the other lady and now she won’t help me anymore.  I just don’t understand what is so wrong with asking questions.  Can’t she understand how scary it is to hop on a plane like it’s nothing to come to a place where I know nothing??  I don’t think my heart can stand it this time.  I’m just in tears. 

7 Responses to “I’m officially a jerk”

  1. Heidi Says:

    Not sure “friend” is an accurate description for this person! I am so sorry that you have run in to so many of these people. Adding a member to your family is a huge decision and in my opinion, those who do NOT ask a lot of questions are the foolish ones. Is this just a characteristic of this country’s adoption procedures- don’t ask/don’t tell? Surely there are other countries who would be happy to find a loving family for one of their children. I hope you find the path to your next child soon…

    Best wishes from up here in Canada,


  2. spyderkl Says:

    How awful! If you can’t/are discouraged from asking questions before you hop on a plane, it’s the wrong thing for you. Absolutely wrong!

    *hugs* I’m so sorry…the right thing will come along soon.

  3. shannon Says:

    I am so sorry this roller coaster doesn’t seem to end for you. And not being able to ask questions in regards to adding a child to your family just seems ridiculous. Of course you should be able to ask questions!

  4. Heidi Says:


    Nothing wrong with asking questions.

    You’re in our prayers still.

  5. Beth Says:

    You are not a jerk! You are a WONDERFUL, LOVING, person who wants to love and devote your life to being a mother. Giving your heart and home to an orphaned child is one of the greatest things we can do while on this earth. To ignore orphans would be a sin. This whole situation is not your fault! Maybe you should search somewhere else for your child??? Or at least to find assistants from someone else?
    I’m sorry for your pain.

  6. Katie Says:

    jawdrop!! That *is* ridiculous! Is it a cultural thing? I hope that you are given the strength so that you can take it 🙂

  7. Holly Says:

    Just fyi, this lady is not a jerk either (the one in Zambia). She is a wonderful, caring woman who just can’t figure out what you want her to do. Tell your friends to be nice. She really is fabulous.

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