August 1, 2007

The big 6! Our third gotcha day.

Filed under: All about Rani — Tamra @ 5:15 pm

Yesterday Rani turned six years old.  I can’t believe it has already been three years since we travelled to bring her home.  We met her for the very first time on her third birthday and it was a magical moment.  Many of you, my longtime readers, may remember how difficult our initial transition was but sitting here now I can hardly believe it happened that way.  Rani has now been in our care longer than the time she spent in the orphanage.  How glorious is that!  My only regret is that I was not able to adopt another child from her country so that she could have a sister close to her age. 

 The day began with french toast in bed, Rani’s favorite breakfast.  Then I told her the story of her adoption and there were a lot of tears and hugging.  After that we looked through her special adoption box which contains the outfit she was wearing, the items she was sent home with and the little lifebook that her orphanage gave her.  We read through the lifebook and enjoyed looking at the pictures of India and especially at the picture of her beloved caretaker that she had such a hard time letting go.  Then we painted her feet red in true Indian tradition and I let her wear the bright red nail polish and lipstick that had been her play-make-up in the orphanage.  We snapped a few pictures and I still can’t believe how much older she looks.  Later we had a party with presents and family.  It was a wonderful day.

 Here are direct links to her other special days.
Original Gotcha day 3rd birthday
1st Gotcha day 4th birthday
2nd Gotcha day 5th birthday

 OK I had to add this.  This is a picture of Rani wearing the before-mentioned lipstick in the orphanage about a month before she came home

And here she is now
DD is SIX! image-1 color
DD is SIX! image-1
DD is SIX! image-2 color

DD is SIX! image-2
DD is SIX! image-3 color

June 15, 2007

2007 Dance Recital!

Filed under: All about Rani,Dance — Tamra @ 12:44 pm

I just thought I’d share some pictures of Rani’s Recital this year.  She’s quite the little dancer for an almost six year old.  She played a gingerbread girl in the Hansel and Gretel ballet and danced to Rockin’ Robin at the clogging recital.






April 27, 2007

Celebrating Adoption

Filed under: FYI — Tamra @ 11:27 am

I just wanted to let all of you know about an awesome organization that offers free custom photography sessions to children who have newly arrived home.  Celebrating Adoption is a wonderful nationwide organization that provides custom portraiture for adoptive families.

Rani update

Filed under: All about Rani — Tamra @ 11:22 am

Emily asked for a Rani update, and I guess it is about time I posted something.  😉  Thanks for the reminder Emily.

Rani has been with us for 2 years and 8 months now.  She is growing and I can’t believe how grown up she looks!  She is quite the little dancer and she likes to sing…a lot…sometimes that drives me batty but I don’t tell her that. LOL

 She is SO excited to be turning six this summer.  In her mind, six is the end-all-be-all of ages to be.  Once she is six she getst to start Liberty Girls and in the fall she will get to try out for the Nutcracker for the very first time!  She loves performing and she can’t wait to be in a real ballet!

 She struggles with reading and writing quite a bit.  She can’t seem to remember the letter sounds for a very long time.  Her almost 5yo brother is starting to pass her up.  She writes her letters perfectly but often starts writing on the wrong side of the paper and writes her words in a complete mirror image.  It’s wierd.  She’s left handed and I’m not sure if that’s the issue or if she is possibly dyslexic. I’m not too worried yet as we are homeschooling so there is no pressure, but in the future if it doesn’t improve I may take her to be evaluated for dyslexia.

She is quite the little model and I can always count on her to be excited when we do a photography shoot.  Here are some recents of her that I love!  I’m just getting started with my biz, ModernExpressions, and I’m always asking her to help me out with new locations.

November 06

5 going on 25

February 07

My Valentine Beauty Pose 4

March 07

Warm & Cozy
Mentoring Assignment-image 2
Mentoring Assignment-image 1

April 15, 2007

Our Decision

Filed under: Africa Adoption — Tamra @ 1:12 am

Well, Dave and I have discussed it and we have decided to stop persuing an African adoption at this time.  For some reason we both have felt uneasy about it and we just decided it wasn’t the right time for us to do this.  Maybe this summer we will think about persuing another country.  We just don’t think our girls are in Zambia.  Rani cried a good bit, but I think she’ll be OK.  Everyone must have been praying hard because we all feel at peace about our decision now.

April 11, 2007

I can’t believe we are thinking of not going

Filed under: Africa Adoption — Tamra @ 9:23 am

Here it is in a nutshell.  All along I have been persuing this Zambia adoption thinking we would first get a referral, accept the referral, and then the three of us (DH, my baby, and myself) would travel together to get our new daughters.  That’s why when I was told to come a few weeks ago I seemed hesitant because I was not given specific information about a child.  I guess choosing a child does seem kind of romantic, but I have never had any desire to do so.  I believed that the one that was chosen for us would be the one that God wanted in our home.  That coupled with the discovery that my husband could not get that week off of work and he also could not stay away that long led to me going alone and leaving my breastfeeding baby behind.  I found myself anxiety riddled and not even functioning as a human being at the thought of #1 doing it alone and #2 leaving my son. 

The other night it was really bad.  So bad I just cried and cried.  I just didn’t know how I would be able to do what I had to do to finish this adoption when I couldn’t even eat or speak to anyone.

 The next morning I got an email from a friend currently adopting in Zambia stating that there is still animosity toward me there and that I had to watch my step or my trip could be in vain.  That was the clincher…I decided not to go.  If I was scared before, the thought that my emotions might prevent me from adopting sent me over the edge.  I gave back all the money that was loaned/donated to us and cancelled my plane tickets.

There is still one small possibility of me getting a baby girl.  That is for them to choose one for me and start the process and then for my husband to go get her and complete the adoption.  We currently cannot afford for all of us to go without borrowing even more money.  And my husband just isn’t sure anymore.  He has been hoping it would all fall apart since the problems started in December.  I don’t think he ever thought we’d make it this far.  He loves me dearly and I truly believe that it is only his love for me that keeps him from pulling the plug on this altogether.  So I don’t know what he is going to decide.  I truly hope that he will pray about it, and come to the decision that is right for us, no matter what that is. 

 Please pray that I can have peace no matter what we decide.  Please pray that if we are unable to adopt that sweet baby, that some good family will adopt her and she will have a good life.  Please pray that the people who worked so hard to help us will be at peace with our decision.  Please pray that the valerian root I’m taking will help me to function as a good mother again.  Please pray that my daughter will forgive us for having to grow up the only girl and only adopted child in a sea of boys if we don’t go.  Please pray.  Just Pray.  Thank you.

April 9, 2007

Having second thoughts

Filed under: Africa Adoption — Tamra @ 9:22 am

Every time I think about leaving my 18 month old nursling for a month I start to cry.  I just don’t know if I can do it.  I haven’t purchased any tickets yet and I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it alone.

April 6, 2007

I’m going!

Filed under: Africa Adoption — Tamra @ 9:41 am

I’m going all by myself too.  My hubby just can’t get the time off from work right now.  I think it’ll be OK but I so wish he could come with me.  I leave next Sunday April 15th.  I’m probably going to end up with a newborn.

March 23, 2007

Smoothed over

Filed under: Africa Adoption — Tamra @ 3:33 pm

Thanks to help from a friend who speaks less abruptly than I do…things have been smoothed over.  Now David and I have to sit down and seriously decide when/if/how we are going to do this and do it!  Dave is quite disheartened about the whole thing and I know he wants to just quit and move on.  I feel the same way a lot of the time, but whenever I get to that point something inside me begs me not to give up!  Please, if you are the praying type, pray for us this weekend as we try to determine our course of action.

March 21, 2007

I’m officially a jerk

Filed under: Africa Adoption — Tamra @ 9:45 am

Well, this friend emailed me a few days ago telling me to hop on a plane next week because there would be kids to adopt.  I asked her questions like “Why the rush?”,  “What kind of fees would be involved?”,  “What are the children like?” etc.  She told me I ask too many questions just like the other lady and now she won’t help me anymore.  I just don’t understand what is so wrong with asking questions.  Can’t she understand how scary it is to hop on a plane like it’s nothing to come to a place where I know nothing??  I don’t think my heart can stand it this time.  I’m just in tears. 

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